Making Friends 101, #3

This is my last post in my Making Friends series! If you haven't read my two previous posts yet, read them here! In my first post, I gave you 6 broad tips on making friends. In my second post, I narrowed the topics down to fitting in. In this final post, we will be talking about one of the most difficult things to avoid in Middle School: drama.

Yes, it's true. Middle School is practically brimming with pointless drama. It can tear apart friendships and cause rifts in your friend group. Although seemingly unavoidable, one of the best ways to deal with drama is to avoid it. The big questions is: How?

Well, the first things is, don't be a drama starter. There are already plenty of those walking around the hallway who feed off of the attention that drama gives them. It's simple to avoid being a drama starter and that's the age-old golden rule: treat others the way you want to be treated. Do you want people talking about you behind your back? No? Then don't do it to other people! Easy enough, right?

The second thing is to not add to the drama. Drama starters are only successful if they have a group of people who will add to the drama and keep it going. Don't spread drama or gossip about it because you're only fueling the fire and inadvertently hurting someone's feelings in the process.

The last thing I want to bring up about drama is your image. How do you want your peers to remember you as you leave Middle School? As the person who was always caught up in pointless drama or as the person who rose above it and whose goal was to build people up instead of tearing them down?

You decide how your 3 years of Middle School will be. Remember to follow my 6 Tips and you'll be making friends in no time! If you have any suggestions for a blog post, a question, advice, etc., email iwillrockmiddleschool@gmail.com!

Making Friends 101, #2

If you read my last post, I'm doing a series of 3 posts about making friends! If you haven't read my first one yet, read it now! My last 6 tips were pretty broad but definitely universal in their application. On this second installment in my series, we are going to narrow our focus on Making Friends into the elusive topic of fitting in.

As read in these Alumni Posts, you'll notice that fitting in was an issue they faced as well as me. Unlike my experience in Elementary School, Middle School was the first place where I had ever experienced cliques or groups. The stereotypical groups were: jocks, preps, goths, troublemakers, nerds, etc. etc. etc. And then there was me. I didn't identify with any of these groups at all. So, I was lost on where I'd fit in. If you read back to my first post, one of my tips is to be yourself. Easier said than done. There's A LOT of pressure to mold your personality into one which will fit you into one of those groups. After several of my own horribly failed attempts at this, I realized it is so much easier and successful to be yourself, although it can be hard at times.

In all honesty, today I like to consider myself a bouncer across all sorts of groups. I have friends who are goths, jocks, preps, and nerds. And I'm still me. I can't tell you all enough how much less stress it is to not have to uphold some sort of image. It is so much easier to put a smile on your face, be yourself, and consider a broad ranges or people your friends.

Remember, images aren't everything. In my experiences, the easiest way to fit in and make friends is to just be yourself. Come back tomorrow for my 3rd and final post in the Making Friends series!

Making Friends 101

So you start a new school, have all your classes memorized, that pesky locker combination down, and then what? Making friends! Easier said than done in my experience. Well, I have compiled a list of advice that I discovered through the trials and errors to making friends and most importantly, keeping them.

1. Go into Middle School knowing this: there is a very large chance that your best friends in elementary school will not be the same friends you have in middle school. This isn't anything personal. People grow and change and discover new interests and hobbies. This doesn't mean that you can't stay friends with them -- it just means that it's good to know that you can make new friends.
2. Be Yourself!! One of the key tips to making friends is to be completely honest about who you are! Granted, there is a lot of pressure to fit in and fit into a specific group. However, in the long run, it's far more beneficial to be honest about who you are from the beginning. True friends will appreciate the type of person you really are and are the kind of friends most likely to turn into lifelong friends.
3. SMILE!! :) This is so important! I can't stress this enough. A smile is worth a thousand words. It can brighten someone's day and make you appear more inviting. If you are super nervous, fear not! Paste the biggest smile you can on your face and it guarantees a look of confidence! A great tip I followed when making friends was 'Fake it 'til you make it!' This is so true. Smile even when you don't feel like it and eventually you'll be smiling for real.
4. Listen! People love to talk about themselves -- it's natural. Listening to someone's hobbies or interests and genuinely being interested says a lot to the other person about your character. While chatty people are great to be around, listening opens up tons of doors in the friend area.
5. Names, names, names!!! Make it a point to learn and use tons of people's names. It's been said that the sweetest sound to a person's ears is their own name. Addressing everyone by their name shows them that you have made it a point to get to know them.
6. Step out of your comfort zone. Sit with someone you normally wouldn't sit with! This can lead to tons of unexpected surprises. Someone you wouldn't think of talking to could turn into your best friend someday. Don't feel as though you have to stick with a certain 'group'. Broaden your friendship horizons!

This is the first of a series of three posts to my tips on making friends. Check back in tomorrow for more tips!!

Alumni Post #4 -- Everyone deals with the same problems.

Middle School was absolutely the worst three years of my life. As the prideful person I am, being judged and disliked by others were my greatest fears. Middle School is brimming with judgement and the pressure to be accepted, making everyday for me a seemingly endless pain. For most students, including myself, the struggle of trying to reflect the person you are on the inside to your outside appearance under the harsh social conditions is the most difficult part of Middle School. Through my experience, my only advice to anyone working through Middle School or about to go in, is to realize that everyone is dealing with the same problems you are, and that although there is pressure to be accepted, a lot of it is in your own head, so just relax, don't talk unless you have to, and you will do fine. -- Nova B.

Alumni Post #3 -- Don't be afraid to put yourself out there!

Middle School can be a confusing place, but there's one thing I remember from it most. It wasn't the dances or the friends, it was learning about where I can fit in. I've never been much of an out-going person. I've always been able to count my friends on my hand and my shyness definitely got the best of me. That being said, I was nervous about asking the guys if I could play basketball in gym. They didn't hesitate to say yes and put me on the team, but it still took me a while to come out of my shell. I'm still shy for the most part, though some of that shyness went away after those years of playing basketball with the boys. I guess my point of this is: Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. The worst anyone can do is say no. -- Kylie W.